Nothing to Say
by Les-Gateaux
Summary: There's really no answer to the question 'Who are you going out with'. At least, not when you're Atobe...AtoJi


Disclaimer: (As said by a random crocodile passing by, because I am in a random mood) I am a talking crocodile. W00t. Tenipuri is not Song's, because I, being a hungry crocodilie, have eaten the entire cast...

Wow. I have three fics started, two of which have only one chapter. And yet I'm not working on them. Wtf is wrong with me? O.O

Anyways, this is just a short drabble that's been stuck in my mind for ages. And instead of the plot bunnies, they were plot _dinosaurs_, so they were a bit hard to ignore. This is sort of Christmasy - actually, it _is_ Christmasy - but it's strange, too. (Like that made any sense.)

_33 minutes left for the next five eps. MY COMPUTER LOVES TO TORTURE ME! (sob)_

Nothing to Say

"Atobe-san."

She was pretty, the diva noted with a vague sense of appreciation. He leaned back in the chair and gazed up at her. Nice figure, too. "Yes?"

"I..." She fumbled around behind her and finally placed a box on his desk with trembling hands. "Please accept this!"

Atobe blinked at her for a minute. The box was wrapped in sparkly paper, adorned with a superfluous green-and-red bow, so it was pretty easy to tell what the box was for. Hyotei's captain smirked slightly. "Why...thank you."

When the girl continued standing there, however, he grew a bit irritated. "Anything else?"

"I was wondering whether you'd like to come to my Christmas party...it's on Saturday, and...and it'd be nice to have you there..."

"I'm busy," he replied shortly, with his usual tact.

Her lip quivered. Snatching the box from his desk, she turned and fled, attracting quite a few glances from the people around them.

Atobe was sorely tempted to yell at her to return his present, but on second thought, that was too callous, even for him. He shrugged languidly.

"Atobe...you just turned down the prettiest girl in your class," Oshitari drawled, giving the captain his usual half-lidded stare.

The diva returned the smirk. "It's not like every girl in my class hasn't thrown herself at me at some point. Besides, what do you care? You've already got someone, right?" He gestured in the general direction of Gakuto Mukahi, Hyotei's acrobat.

"No, we're not going out or anything. Just fucking." The tensai glanced up. "Oh, look...here comes your usual fanclub...I think I'll leave before I get trampled."

Atobe watched the boy stride away in the usual careless fashion he had, then turned to his 'fanclub', as Oshitari had put it. He plastered his trademark smirk on his face before realizing that these weren't the usual girls. Rather, they looked familiar, but not in a good way.

The tallest of the girls, towering well above six feet and looking generally imposing, stuck a notepad under his perfect nose. "Atobe-san. We're from Hyotei Monthly, the school newspaper, and we've come to do a bit of an interview, seeing as you're once again the leader of the 'Hyotei's Most Wanted' list."

That made him sound like a criminal. Fairly amused, the captain waved a hand absently. "Later. Tennis practice. I need to keep in shape, of course." He stretched, his uniform (which had specifically been ordered a size too small) clinging to his well-defined muscles. The majority of the newspaper crew squealed; their leader, however, remained unfazed.

After all, she _was_ taller than him by a good three inches.

"We just need to get a few quotes, Atobe-san." They trailed after him as he walked towards the courts. "For example, Ayumi from your class left in tears around six minutes and twenty-three seconds ago, sobbing your name. She was unavailable for comment. Can you give us a small explanation?"

Atobe mouthed the words 'ten laps' in Oshitari's direction and gestured at the reporter. The tensai grinned, mouthing 'I dare you' back to him.

"Well, Atobe-san?" the girl continued pointedly.

The diva growled, batting the pen away from his face. (Kami-sama forbid a single drop of ink ruin his flawless skin.) "I said I was too busy to go to her Christmas party. Now move."

She scribbled a few lines onto the pad. "Isn't Christmas a time that lovers usually spend together? Do you have a girlfriend that you're staying with?"

"No, I don't." He snapped his fingers to summon the Regulars, but the rest of Hyotei heard the signal and began chanting the whole 'Atobe is the victor' ceremony they did before every match. He cut them off irritably. "People who aren't members of the Hyotei tennis club must stay off the courts."

"But-"

He'd warned them, and he'd had enough. "Kabaji."

"Usu."

Faced with the giant (who was even taller than the reporter), the members of Hyotei Monthly scattered.

* * *

**'Hyotei's Most Wanted Perhaps Not Single After All.'**

"Buchou," Gakuto called, waving the paper, "did you see this?"

Atobe snatched the newspaper from his hand and scanned it, his silver eyes widening.

_December 18 - Atobe Keigo, the school's idol and most sought-after boy, may not be single after all. When Hyotei Monthly reporter Azaki Kimika interviewed Atobe last week, her results were rather shocking. After the most sought-after girl, Kisuko Ayumi, burst out of the clubroom in tears, Kimika was naturally curious. She was rewarded with this conversation, shown below. _

_Azaki Kimika: Atobe-san, can you tell us why Ayumi just ran out sobbing? _

_Atobe Keigo: I have better things to do than go to the party of that wench. _

_Kimika: Isn't Christmas a time that lovers spend together? Is there someone you're going out with that you're spending Christmas with?_

_Atobe: I don't have a girlfriend. _

_Kimika: So are you just staying with your family for Christmas?_

_Atobe: Did I say that? _

_Kimika: That's a rather cryptic answer. Are you implying that you have, I don't know, a boyfriend? (Note: this was what Kimika assumed was a ridiculous suggestion, not meant as an actual question. However, Atobe immediately turned defensive.)_

_Atobe: People who aren't members of the Hyotei tennis club must stay off the courts. _

_Due to this, it may well be possible that Hyotei's idol is currently dating a boy. This scandal will most certainly have to be investigated. In the meantime, the girls should try finding a more worthy boy to be their 'Most Wanted'. -Azaki Kimika_

"This..." Atobe's eyes narrowed to slits. Ohtori was watching with evident worry, although the majority of the other Regulars were smirking (except Jirou, who was sleeping, and Kabaji, who was...well...just there.) "**_What the fuck is this?_**"

"Atobe!" Sakaki didn't look too amused at the captain's choice of language.

Apparently, the diva didn't care. "That little _bitch_...as soon as I see her, she's so fucking _dead..." _

"Hey, buchou!" Gakuto called. "Is it true?"

Silver eyes flashed. "Ten laps. Now."

Deciding to press his luck, the redhead continued. "You know, you've been sounding a lot like Tezuka-san from Seigaku ever since your match with him. Is he the one you're spending Christmas with, hm?"

"_Fifty laps._"

Oshitari smiled. "You know, Atobe, you and Tezuka really _do_-"

Atobe cut him off. "You can accompany Gakuto."

"-need to get together to see who's the better. After all, Tezuka was injured last time." Oshitari calmly finished his thought.

"Nice save," Shishido complimented.

Atobe twitched. "Everyone, sixty laps!"

"Jirou, get up," Oshitari called, shaking the sleeping boy. "Buchou says laps. Let's go."

"Wha...?" Jirou half-opened his eyes and threw Atobe a _look_.

The captain sighed. "Jirou doesn't have to. I didn't hear _him_ making any unnecessary comments. Ohtori doesn't have to, either."

Being considerate as usual, Ohtori said softly, "I'll run. Come on, Ryo...I mean, Shishido."

Jiroh, not being quite as motivated, calmly rolled over and went back to sleep.

"Atobe-san," a voice called, ever so sweetly.

He turned, slowly, and stared at Azaki Kimika. "You. Are. So. Dead."

"Like the article? In case you didn't know, I happen to be one of Kisuko Ayumi's best friends. Revenge is sweet."

Atobe never lost his temper, ever.

Which was why everyone was understandably surprised when he snatched the camera from her hands, let it drop to the ground, and calmly smashed it apart with the heel of his (5,412 dollar) shoe.

"You-" Kimika seethed.

The diva raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"You're paying for that!"

"I think not." He turned and calmly faced the rest of the club. "Practice dismissed. See you all on Wednesday after break." Storming off, he ignored the reporter's growls.

After all, what could she possibly do to him?

* * *

"I don't think you should have smashed her camera."

Atobe glanced up from where he was curled on one of his couches in his personal cottage. His fingers played idly with the blond strands of his companion's hair. "Really? Why?"

Jiroh yawned. "She'll probably do something nasty."

"If you're going to be all paranoid, get off my lap and go somewhere else."

The blonde shrugged, pointing at the ceiling. "Look, mistletoe."

"I know. I put it there."

The two of them smiled at each other before Atobe leaned down for a quick kiss that soon turned into something else.

There was a flash of light in the window. Atobe broke away just long enough to see a wildly laughing Azaki Kimika running away, waving a brand-new camera. "Why -" He leapt up from the couch.

Jiroh tugged him back down. "Keigo, you said we'd spend Christmas together. Don't you dare leave, or I'll probably fall asleep again. And there are much better things to do at night."

Atobe smiled, and wrapped his arms around the blond. "Or in the daytime, for that matter."

The other boy stood up. "I think I know my way around here well enough to get to your bedroom now. Shall we go?"

"By all means."

Jiroh leaned upwards and kissed his boyfriend lightly. "Merry Christmas, Keigo..."

"Same..."

* * *

'**The Diva and the Narcileptic: A Special Report by Azaki Kimika'. **

"Here, Atobe." Oshitari tossed him a copy of Hyotei Monthly: Special Christmas Edition.

He was prepared for the worst. He really was. Facing the giant, page-length picture of him and Jiroh...er..._doing things_, Atobe winced slightly. He didn't even bother reading the article, just tossing the paper in the trash.

"Atobe-sama!"

Oh, Kami-sama. That was his fanclub. He could recognize their shrill, squealing voices.

He turned, slowly, expecting to see girls in tears.

They were holding a giant, larger-than-life size copy of _the picture_, and they were all smiling, squealing his and Jiroh's name. Loudly.

Oshitari snickered, Gakuto smirked, Ohtori blushed, Shishido scowled, Kabaji stood there, Jiroh yawned, and one thought ran through Atobe's flustered mind.

_Since when did the female population of Hyotei turn into...yaoi fangirls...? _

-owari-

Heh, fear me. XD


End file.
